Monday, August 08, 2005

Gad(d)about the Theogosphere

I met a guy today (online) whose official church title is "Minister of Creative Arts Expression." I guess "Worship Pastor" or "Choir Director" has become passe'. In honor of my new friend, I will end every paragraph with a metaphor (for better or worse).

Dan at Cerulean Sanctum has been channeling the fire of the old Hebrew prophets the last couple of weeks. Beginning the middle of July he has attacked isolationism and materialism, Harry Potter, heresy hunting, heavy-handed Christians, and heavy-handed Christian bloggers. I even learned a new phrase, "semi-pelagian poopyhead," which I guess is how five-year-old SBC children put their peers in place. If Dan were a book, he would be leather-bound with large lettering. His liner notes would be blunt, and any cover art would probably include some kind of heavy artillery.

Another blogger who fearlessly blogs is Brad at Broken Messenger, who braved potential backlash by taking on Steve Camp's opinions about children, salvation, and the age of accountability. This is a topic that can only divide into two distinct, bitter camps, but Brad somehow manages to maneuver through the topic with grace. If Brad were a car, he would be a turbo-charged Volvo, with plush leather seats and 5-speed automatic transmission -- but with well-calibrated analog gauges, because Brad's the right kind of "old school."

Tim Challies, who is sort of like the Yoda of Christian bloggers, points out the obvious conflicts between Christianity and modern culture. In Tim's defense of a simple, conservative faith, he uses a very post-modern technique: he references a cartoon parable. Irony aside, I like Tim's take on it, probably because I like the worldview often portrayed in King of the Hill. If Tim were a fictional literary character, he would be any butler or servant in a Moliere play, probably Tartuffe, the quiet (and often humorous) moral voice surrounded by great hypocrisy.

The PyroManiac couldn't help himself to post after saying he needed to go on a hiatus. He didn't know about the blogger's curse, which means the moment you say you're going to take a break is the moment you are flooded with urgent things to put on your blog. Phillip was burning with contempt for Real: The Complete New Testament, which is little more than a loose dynamic translation 'zine pandering to an audience that can identify BS much better than the average American. I have no metaphors for Phillip Johnson, since he is already larger than life.

If I were a punctuation mark, as this very moment, I would be a period.

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