Tighter fuel rules for SUVs

The government set tighter gas mileage rules Wednesday for pickups and sport utility vehicles, including bulky SUVs such as the Hummer H2 and Chevrolet Suburban, responding to rising concern about the supply and cost of energy from abroad. Link

I wish someone would allow me 15 minutes with the Transportation Department head. Here are the rules I would make about those vehicles. You can't buy a new one if:

You have ever driven two blocks from your house to the pharmacy for your high-blood pressure medication.

You have ever used the word "bling."

You have owned one before and never taken it off paved roads. Or parked it in the space marked "compact."

You subscribe to "People or "Us" magazine.