The real retro/metro meme

Marla Swoffer started this whole thing by pointing what she perceived to be the fine line of distinction between the two theological extremes. She coined these two sides as "retro" and "metro." She seems a bit dismayed that some might use this as a jumping point for humor. I'm with her. I don't know why anyone would find such comparisons as humorous. They're downright funny.

Dan, in all seriousness, responded by meme-ing Swoffer's list and highlighted where he felt he fell in the gaps. I consider Dan worthy of mimicking, but I just don't have the brain power or the energy to reply so completely, so I give you the Our Favorite Stereotypes Retro/Metro meme. I tag everyone in the whole wide world.

RETRO	METRO
Hard Pews	Cushy chairs
God's spoken Word	Whatever
Colon-challenged	Morally-challenged
Left-Brained	Hare-Brained
Pinstripes	Piercings
Original text	Slogans
Children	Oops
Leno/Letterman	Jon Stewart
Grape Juice	Mad Dog 20/20
Microbrew	Malt liquor
Opus	Get Fuzzy
Apologetics	Star Trek metaphors
Baptists	Holistics
Holy Trinity	Morpheus, Trinity, Neo
Heavily-armed compounds	The coffee house
Ancient past	Time/Space Continuum
Hymn books	Projector screens
Big words	Made-up words
Criminal Justice	Fashion Justice
Proverbs	Reverb
Wheelchairs	Skateboards
Women	"Honored matrons"
Rant	Conversation
Reformed	Rehabed
Theology	Etymology
Pscyhology	Pharmacology
Josh McDowell	Josh Whedon
Absolute truth	Absolutely Fabulous
Sermon	Some things my father once told me
The Truth	The Exception
Minor chords	Power chords