Gloaters Become the Goats

I've been pondering how best to torcher my wife as the Suns breezed past the Grizzlies while the Kings' front office is busy working on the draft board because everyone knows the Sonics have their number. Some ideas I've considered:

A) Do a little dance on her Kings hat while singing "By the Time I Get To Phoenix"

B) Drawing a mustache on her Bibby photo

C) Putting a banana in her car's tailpipe, e.g. Axel Foley

While imagining the possible rewards for such taunts, I've arrived at these possible responses:

A) She jabs a carving knife through my larynx

B) She shaves "Go Kings" into my goatee while I sleep

C) She reminds me that I drive her car and am making payments on it while she recovers from surgery

I think I'm going to go with:

D) Keep my mouth shut, smile and enjoy the fact I'm not personally jinxing my team by celebrating while there's still plenty of time to be embarrassed.