I'm pretty confident God does not make decisions by committee. I hope this isn't heretical, but I confess I sometimes wish He did, because there's a whole host of people out there who aren't saved that I wish were. All God needs to do is ask me. I've got a running list.
First and foremost, I desire for everyone to be saved. Realizing the unlikelihood of that event, however, there's a choice selection of souls I yearn for a knowledge of Christ, if only because I enjoy their wit, wisdom, and talents. I'd like to think they'll entertain me for eternity.
If God asked me, these are the people I would single out as needing to be zapped off their [donkeys], struck blind, and put into temporary sufferage until they relent to God's will:
Eddie Izzard: This British comedian is wildly hilarious. First-class brain. He's also a cross-dresser and dips into some very disconcerting views on God and Church in his standup. Eddie distinguishes himself from the "weirdo" transsexuals while trumpeting his heterosexuality. I guess that means he intends to keep his native equipment and use it as God intended. Personally, I don't have a problem with the high heels or makeup. That's strange and well outside cultural norms, but that in itself won't keep a man out of heaven. I don't think it will, anyway. He clearly has a problem with God as Christians understand Him, and I suspect it has a lot to do with our advanced judgement of the way he likes to dress. If God ever gave him an epiphany, however, this guy could be a powerhouse teacher and theologian. A genuinely funny one at that.
Chick Corea: Virtuso pianist who was the first celebrity Scientologist. Dedicates every album to the memory of L. Ron Hubbard, even though many of his equally talented companions -- bassist John Patitucci and drummer Vinnie Colaiuta, in particular -- are born-again Christians. This guy has an other-worldly understanding of composition. I can't imagine the kind of music God could pour through him as a believer, because he has the facilities to play anything.
Douglas Coupland: Author of Generation X and Life After God (and many others), Coupland is the most fluid writer of my generation. Pens some absolutely beautiful prose and is one of the most insightful commentators on the condition of the soul. I sensed at the end of Life After God, a scene in which the main character baptizes himself in recognition that he needs God, Coupland was also having that "moment," but a scanning of his most recent work reveals his views to be far more universal than I inferred them to be. Heavy sigh. God touch his heart!
That's it for now. I didn't say it was a long list. Who ranks high on your list?
Monday, May 23, 2005
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