Friday, January 27, 2006

My bio, submitted to The Door website

Matthew Self, who has been published in The Door once, still insists on his bio taking up bandwidth on this website. Matt, born one month before the Summer of Love, grew up a PK in a hyperfundamentalist Pentecostal church that catered to college students, homeless hippies, and Jesus Freaks.

He has been confused ever since.

In 1989 he retreated to a conservative Third Wave church where the pastor exposed him to many heresies, such as Paul’s letter to the Galatians and The Door magazine. It was during this period he discovered all good theology comes equipped with a sense of humor and the license to attach the “ism” suffix to any word.

Matt sold out his principles changed professional direction in the fall of 2005 for a career in real estate after nearly 12 ungainfully employed personally fulfilling years as a newspaper reporter and editor. His literary work has been roundly dismantled of its power and wit professionally proofed by clumsy ogres editors all over the country, but primarily at The Arizona Republic, where he learned how to say little in as few words as possible write for the reader.

In addition to his obscured journalism career, Matt failed to impress anyone to pay him well during stints as a session drummer, a paralegal, or a convenience store clerk. If anyone is interested in a lot of unused drum gear, 12 stolen legal pads, or a 7-11 smock, please visit Matt at

He is married to his wife, Jessica, which is a good thing, since she would generally frown on Matt’s marriage to anyone else. No children, they are currently considering adopting Angelina Jolie’s bank account. They live on the downslope of a bajada in eastern Mesa, Ariz., spring home of the Chicago Cubs and other notoriously mediocre operations.

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