Thursday, December 08, 2005

How to criticize a Christian leader

By following these guidelines, you, too, can join the growing market of ANTI-CULT LITERATURE. These guidelines will help you form strong arguments to blow away the ministry of anyone who even remotely disagrees with you. Grace be damned!


Idenitfying Target A should be simple enough. Just find someone who's enjoying some recently acquired notoriety as an original thinker. This is ideal, because not only can you capitalize on people's instinctive fear of something new, it's easier to get published because you can ride on the coattails of your target's notoriety.


You need to immediately redirect their words through the prism or grid of your system of theology. Presuppositions of their system of theology, no matter how accepted or allowable in the mainstream of evangelical thought, are critical before you begin writing. Acrostics utilzing inflammatory and misrepresentative wordplay are usually the best place to start. For example, when criticizing a five-point Calvinist, try a play on "TULIP" by characterizing them as a heartless Judaizer with the word "THORN." You will get extra humor credits among those who agree with you.


Target A may be a hard target because he or she may be mostly orthodox, and may even preach an orthodox Gospel. However, we cannot let disagreements over methodology get in the way of sound doctrine. Turning Target A into a heretic takes a simple argumentation technique:

Target A quoted Suspect B;
Suspect B quoted Supsect C;
Suspect C was discipled in the camp of Heretic D;
Therefore Target A, Suspect B, and Suspect C are all heretics, since they obviously are in line with Heretic D.

Now you can dismiss anything else Target A says, because they are a heretic and their sanctification has been shown devoid. This technique is especially helpful when you can take quotes out of their original context.

4. Ignore Matt 18:15-22

First, if Target A is published, you are simply responding to a heretic in the same medium he or she chose to air their bad doctrine. Secondly, they did not first consult you before they aired their offensive material. They didn't even mention you or quote your good doctrine, so you are not bound to this order by Jesus.

Obviously, Jesus did not have the opportunity to speak to the Anti-Cult Ministry, since it did not exist in his age, so the Bible is silent on the subject.

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